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Pre-crashed Windows (englisch)

Durch gezielte Vor-Abstürze beim Hersteller werden Windows-Systeme deutlich stabiler

Typ

Microsoft

Today, a Microsoft spokesman announced that a revolutionary, exciting and innovative new technology was being incorporated into all of the company's operating system products beginning with Windows 2000 Service Pack 1. "Our software will be pre-crashed at the factory, so when you install it, it will be completely broken in and stable," he said.The spokesman was later identified as Marvin Reifsnyder, a disgraced Microsoft programmer who had been reassigned to the company's PR firm as punishment.Reifsnyder was asked where the idea for this new technology came from."This is off the record," said Reifsnyder, "but from what I hear, our fearless leader wandered out of his compound unescorted and ended up in a mall where there was a store selling pre-washed jeans. Having never seen anything like that before, it occurred to him that such a concept applied to software would be a revolutionary and innovative breakthrough."Reporters asked for more details about the exciting new technology.Reifsnynder replied, "The double top secret Microsoft Advanced Technology Task Force applied some new kind of artificial intelligence to the Windows 2000 code. Basically, we install every piece of software in existence on a machine and run it randomly until it crashes the system. The system learns from each crash and records the data in the Registry in an area we call the 'crash cache'"."That sounds great," said a DZNet reporter. "When do you expect to release the product?""As soon as we figure out how to fit the resulting Registry onto a 10 GB drive," replied Reifsnyder.

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